Movie #362 2020: Vicky Cristina Barcelona (2008)

To begin, let it be known that this is the furthest from a ‘festive movie’ as you could possibly get. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre is arguably more festive than this film. But you know what? Sometimes you need a little juxtaposition in your life, and I stand by my choice to watch it.

Directed by some prick we don’t speak of, Vicky Cristina Barcelona is a strange tale of a somewhat ‘alternative’ relationship. Vicky and Cristina are best friends, but have vastly different personalities, and they set out to Barcelona for the summer. Unbeknownst to them, they would fall in love with the same man, despite Vicky already being ‘happily’ engaged. Things spiral pretty quickly when the man’s ex also comes into the picture, and somehow Cristina finds herself in a polyamorous relationship with the both of them.

For the record, I came here for the brilliant cast, not W**dy Allen. But I do have to admit that Allen’s way of framing and the experimental nature of his cinematography are out of this world. I just wish I didn’t like his style so much… for reasons that you are all aware of. Sigh. Fuck this film for being so pretty.

One unique yet unintentionally annoying aspect here is that a narrator is in place to describe each sequence before it happens. The use of said narrator is really jarring and weird, despite being a constructive way of pushing the story forward quickly. Usually I’d like the fact that a movie is short (you know me), but it just seems lazy here. I want to see the story unfold, not feel like I’m being read to. (It all felt very Arrested Development, and I’m sure that was absolutely not the intention…)

That being said, Vicky Cristina Barcelona just seems like a movie that didn’t need to be made somehow. The plot isn’t original in any way despite it being an unusual look at human relationships and has little underlying meaning, serving as a character study and a play area for the actors involved instead of really saying anything. 

All is not lost, and there are some other positives however. Scarlet Johansson is truly great here, and Rebecca Hall as Vicky brought some relatability to the whole thing with her no-nonsense outlook and witty retorts. Watching her character develop and transform was the most interesting thing about the whole movie to be truthful. And of course, Penelope Cruz steals the show as the mentally insane but seductive ex-wife. Certainly one of the best performances I’ve seen from her.

It’s visually glorious, the warm Spanish backdrop is really inviting, and it’s quite a sexy movie in general… but it feels a little void of meaning. It actually really feels like too much of an attempt at meaning, and then it just falls flat.

In sum: a good-looking character study, but nothing more.

Vicky Cristina Barcelona is available to stream on Amazon Prime Video in the UK.

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