Don’t let Patrick Stewart‘s face fool you. Don’t let Gary Cole‘s face fool you. This is not a good movie. That’s right: it’s officially time for Christmas movies. Sadly, I feel like I’ve seen all of the good ones at this point, so don’t expect any five star Christmas reviews here any time soon.
Christmas Eve is a desperate cash grab attempt at a Christmas film, filled with an ensemble cast of famous (and also some not-so-famous) faces who were no doubt cast to pull audiences in. Well, if it worked and you paid money to see this movie, then I’m very sorry. The plot is made up of several different stories (in the same style of Love Actually) that eventually intertwine… and that’s basically it. Oh, and it’s set on Christmas Eve so naturally it’s a Christmas movie. Even though it really kind of isn’t.
As Mariah Carey once said, “it’s tiiiime!” (Time for terrible Christmas films that is.) And this may be one of the most terrible I’ve ever seen.
Here’s my theory: Larry King (producer) held his friends at gunpoint (Stewart and Cole) and forced them to be in this dumpster fire of a film. It’s the only possible explanation. They had no choice. Their talent is completely and utterly wasted and it’s inexcusable. Whilst Stewart particularly tries to bring some flair and regality to the whole affair, you can tell that even he knows he’s wasting his time.
Sigh. I don’t even know where to begin with the list of subpar crap going on here. Most strikingly perhaps – and for all the wrong reasons – is how bad the editing and camerawork is. It’s almost as if this was filmed by a group of underachieving high school students using a single camera and edited (badly) on iMovie. I’m not even exaggerating. Who thought this was a good idea?!
And don’t even get me started on the sorry excuse for a plot. For a film titled Christmas Eve, it couldn’t be less Christmassy. I understand that a lot of Christmas movies are sickly sweet and lovey dovey, but is this even a Christmas film? Is it really? It’s blindingly obvious what’s going to happen and some of the characters don’t even get a happy ending. The attempts to thread each of the stories together were okay, yet Stewart’s Ebenezer Scrooge redemption arc never seemed to actually redeem the guy? Pure, lazy scriptwriting at it’s very worst.
It’s difficult to give this anything higher than a 1.5 to be honest. There are some vaguely heart-warming moments and a couple of muted laughs in there, but that’s about it. Shameful for all involved.
Christmas Eve is available to stream on Amazon Prime Video in the UK.
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Costume & Set Design:
Overall Enjoyability Rating: ½