Movie #312 2020: Hubie Halloween (2020)

Oh. God. Adam Sandler, why must you do this?

Just in time for Halloween, Sandler released yet another Netflix movie. He plays Hubie Dubois; a man living in Salem (obviously) who is constantly being ridiculed in his home city. Hubie, you see, is extremely dedicated to making Halloween safe for children and adults alike, and this year there really is something to be worried about as the townsfolk are being picked off one by one by an unseen force. It becomes quickly apparent to Hubie that it’s his true mission this year to save Halloween, and he sets to work to solve the mystery of what is going on.

Basically, it’s as if Adam Sandler couldn’t handle everyone praising him in Uncut Gems so he created this shovel of shite to make things go back to normal. That accent? Jesus Christ. When the movie began, my girlfriend said ”he’s not going to do that voice all the way through, is he?” Sorry, babe, but yes. Of course he is. Abysmal.

Speaking of, Sandler needs to stop wrangling all these great actors together and trapping them in awful movies. Steve Buscemi does not deserve this. I get that it’s an easy pay check, but come on, guys. What’s the issue with turning down this crap?

Netflix has labelled this as ‘slapstick’ and ‘goofy’ within its database, but the only thing even mildly humorous here is June Squibb’s thrift store T-shirt collection. Not even the supreme Maya Rudolph and her way with improv could save this script.

Is there anything good about this movie? Well, there’s a lot of harkening back to old horror films, and it’s a really fun game to sit and identify them all as a way to get yourself through this mess. (References include Children of the Corn, Stephen King’s Christine, Creature from the Black Lagoon, Cujo, plus others.)

Pretty much everything about Hubie Halloween is transparent and obvious from beginning to end, and up until the last 15 minutes, it also happens to be extremely boring. Disappointing.

But then again, Sandler loves a bit of self-sabotage, so what did you expect?

Hubie Halloween is available to stream on Netflix in the UK.

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